stop blaming them.
Here we go again. You may be reading this right now with anger, frustration, confusion and stress due to how your life is playing out. Maybe the relationship didn't work out. Maybe that thing you were going to accomplish last week never got done. Maybe that gym membership you bought last month hasn't been touched. Or worst of all, you expected to be at "that" place in life right now...but wait, you aren't even close. It's like your life feels in shambles and beyond repair. Time to point the finger.
God, where are you man?
You need more money so you can do more.
You need a better body so you can get more likes, impress them, be confident, etc.
If only your life would fix itself, then you could put a smile on and get off the "couch."
If only they would do what you want them to do.
"If only they..."
Now, here's where I REALLY want you to lean in. Your greatest frustrations may be connected to your greatest excuses. Hear that? It's become a blame game instead of a responsibility. See, God is good. He's with you. He loves you. He moves for you and he even dreams with you. But one thing I've seen over and over again...God will never impose his will on you. What does this mean Carson????? The facts are, God won't bless your blame. Take action. When we blame, we become lazy. When we blame, we don't steward our best gifts. When we blame, we choose the couch not the journey.
Blaming "them" has become a poison that we've hoped would rid us of our responsibility.
Pause. Take a breath. Lift your eyes. If you glance over your life right now at the places that lack, that make you mad, that frustrate and confuse you, you'll notice that it isn't anyone's fault. You said "no" when you should've said yes. You said "yes" when you should've said no. You bought Chick-fil-A instead of saving for the rent payment you're now stressing about. You complained about your body image all the while binging on Netflix for 8 hours a day. YOU did that, not "them." This isn't about hurting feelings, it's about taking steps. When we decide to step, we don't choose to blame. And that's a beautiful thing because you'll start to see yourself becoming the person you long to be. Culture longs for a cop out. But you weren't destined for less. Don't let BLAME rule your life. Remove it by taking charge of your gifts. Taking charge of your attitude. You were meant for more, your excuses only give you less.
I believe there's a few phrases that have robbed us of our best, igniting a blame in our hearts that has gotten us nowhere. Write these down. Screen shot em and learn that these aren't the answers for your life.
1. "it's just too hard"
easy was never the goal. That's something you need to wake up and realize. This was never about how comfy you could be, it was always about the best for you, and his glory. These things don't translate to "easy" or a bunch of pillows. Pain is part of it. Tough decisions are necessary. Believe in the process and believe in steps. You got this.
2. "but what about me"
HELLLLLLLO! the world doesn't revolve around you nor me. Another wake up call, but a good one. When we blame other people for what we've failed it or what we've done, we are telling the world "it's the me show." and it never was about you. You have purpose. You are loved. You are valued. But at the end of it, you aren't the focus. Take a step back and take it all in. Quit with the blaming and take responsibility. You are a small part in this story.
3. "I don't really open up to people"
this is the hardest one. We hear it over and over again, heck we've probably all said it one time or another in our lives. Truth is, your transparency is a must. When you're honest, you're strong. And our culture has mixed this up. Keep it all inside they say. Be tough. Be strong. Blah blah blah. Not true. Your willingness to say "hey, I made a mistake, I failed today, I said the wrong thing" holds more power than you could ever imagine.
Your honesty is a weapon. Open up. Give it to God. Try again.
This blame game can't go on any longer. Your best life is waiting for you and it's on the other side of your blame. It's not her fault. It's not his fault. What about the log in your eye? It's time to look in the mirror. Now is the season to take responsibility.
Take what's yours.